Thursday, March 4, 2010

Farm Report


Our manager has decided to go on a single road trip. Deciding to see what is on the side of the road. What beautiful flowers and creepy bugs reside in mountain towns. Look for crop circles in the middle of the country and fresh honey made from the wild bees. A road trip of epic proportions. Our staff has been holding goodbye parties all week. We will miss her so very much. Our farm reports will consist of reports from spaces and places she will be stopping. Check back often.
Take the time to listen to life calling, no matter how faint; answer. Re dos are non existent.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

FARM REPORT




This is the Foot Farm and toes are our passion. We soak them, scrub them, and rub them. We apply lotions, scented oils, paint them and adorn them with flowers and jewels. Our lovely toes take us wherever we want to go and never do they question why we want to go there. Look down at your tootsies and contemplate just for a moment your life without them. Think of the splendor of being able to feel wet sand sliding beneath the soles of your feet on a warm beach. Would you miss sticking them softly into furry slippers, pink stilettos or sexy silver sandals? What good would 150 pairs of shoes do you with out the toes our workers here on the foot farm treat with so much tender loving care?
This is just to remind you to always take great care of your lovely toes. Love them no matter what. Flex them and wiggle them often. Take a nice long bath and put them up on the edge of the tub, wave at them and blow kisses. Thank them for bringing you to every moment of bliss and pleasure that you have ever enjoyed. Cover them with bubbles, lather rinse and repeat. Dip them in warm peach paraffin or cover them with scented sea salts. Thank them every day for being the incredible instruments of lovely transportation that they are. If you ever for an instant think that you can do with out them think again. Our manager would like to remind you that we live to pamper toes. We deem them the most perfectly formed part of the body. If you think our work frivolous and unimportant, we ask you think for one moment if you lost those pink painted toes. If they fell off one day never to be found again. If you woke one morning and they were gone forever. Bring them to us faithfully and let us file clip and rub them. Most of all never ever take those ten little piggies for granted. Our color for the week is Bunny Nose

Sunday, April 12, 2009

FARM REPORT


The Foot Farm would like to invite all writers to the first season of Story Survivors. We will be holding write-ins across America and choosing thirteen lucky scribes to move to the farm. Once here they will be required to move into bare housing on the Foot Farm and work along side our workers learning to harvest toes like pros. There will challenges to overcome.
Who writes the best first person short story where the main character is involved in a life threatening situation with a bottle of nail polish? Eliminations will be heart wrenching, judging will be brutal. Thirty days of writing until challengers’ brains are spewing smoke from their nostrils. Housed three to a room they will have only one dictionary between them. No PCs or Macs only a manual portable Smith-Corona typewriter, onion skin paper, four number two pencils and one pencil sharpener.
The judges will be brutal yet honest in their critic. There will be tears, emotionally charged arguments and retribution when plots are mysteriously leaked. A romance will develop between two of the challengers. One challenger plots against the other writers by stealing their onion skin paper. Somehow it will come down to the final four writers. . Whose story will be chosen? Whose adverbs will reign supreme? The Foot Farm will become wildly popular and workers will have trouble keeping up with the demand of visitors who want to visit. Get ready, writing samples are being submitted and the lucky thirteen are being contacted to bring their ideas to the Foot Farm. Our color for this first season will be “Scarlet Starlet

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

FARM REPORT

Farm workers traveled this week to stay at Mabel's House. We stepped inside of history. Bathed in it, slept in it, and it inspired us. In a steamy hot bath scented with lavender we looked to the left and saw what the hands of man could never hope to create. Surrounded by the color and words of D H Lawrence painted and written to soothe the soul of this woman who lived a life dedicated to filling the world with beauty,drama and inspiration.

As a writer I begged to soak long enough to be worthy of being in her space. I sat in the drawing room and felt the intense conversations of parties long ended but forever suspended in soft yellow light. Serenaded by a city of long tailed birds.

Artists still come to sit in magnificent sturdy chairs at tables piled high with hot scones and eggs with black beans chilies and cheese. They meet, they talk, and they find love. They laugh and live as their passion decrees. It is as she would have loved it to be.
Writers still filling their pages with words written on black sticky courier typewriters in the little rooms downstairs. Photographers cannot resist stopping to unload their bags of lenses.
There is magic in this place. Magic that crosses the centuries, spreads out over a huge meadow and drapes itself over the mountains where you can see the wind. It speaks to me, calls me and wraps its clear blue sky around me like a long lost lover returned to claim me. Farm workers have left a piece of themselves in the cave of an ancient woman grinding corn on a stone. Their hot pink toes were painted with flowers and appreciated as small works of art.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Farm Report

Days on farm have been sad and stressful lately. There was a fire on a neighboring farm.
A horrible accident, our workers could only stand and watch as neighbors, we cherish so much, were lost in the flames. There is no way for us to know whether they suffered or were lost by the force of the explosion. Things on our place have been dragging ever since news of the tragedy reached us. Production has been affected by sadness. Work songs we usually sing have been replaced by sleepless nights punctuated with sounds of burning wood and dreams the orange hue of hot flames.
One of our best workers was hit with news of illness in the family. We gathered around to give our support and love in the only way that we know how. We stayed up late and did each others feet. We polished, painted, rubbed and scrubbed until we all felt better. Workers fell asleep in exhausted heaps and woke the next morning feeling somewhat relieved. Happy to be able to look down at toes painted Most Honorable Red.
We have not been fazed by news stories of monkeys being murdered on street corners. Monkeys on display in book store windows, and monkeys who say that Our President should fail. At the monthly meeting of farm managers the conversation was filled with excitement. Our President was going to speak. We listened and nodded our heads at the words of encouragement that we heard, and smiled at a cute little girl who promised she would never quit. As we continue about our business, squeezing as many feet as possible into our days, biking to visit our neighbors and taking classes to elevate our minds, we are confident. We are so glad that he had time to grab a cold one, kick back and watch the game; have a lovely dinner, be rested relaxed and restored.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

FARM REPORT

We hosted a lovely pasta night this week. Workers from neighboring farms in our area came over for food and conversation. It was a lovely night. The conversation was dominated by the dreaded economy. We agreed we all need golden parachutes and bailout money. Reality set in and we shared our views on the President’s economic policies. All of our neighbors, even those from the most prosperous farms are on board with the saving, planning and conserving philosophy that the first family is bringing to the nation.

Budgeting is now the in way to live, think, and behave. One farm has frozen all of its credit cards in huge blocks of ice. They couldn’t bear to cut them up. Even the littlest farm hands are into the budgeting way of life. It’s become chic. One of our neighbors suggested that we read Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Excerpts were shared over walnut cake and apple pie and all farms have decided to read this book.

To stem the rising economic tide our farm has begun an aggressive marketing strategy. We decided we needed to talk directly to some new feet. Next week will be all about writing the copy for a new radio show.

Workers from our farm were invited to share a great vacation. We were sadly disappointed when plans were abruptly cancelled. We are still crying in our soup about the loss of vacation time. Life can be stressful slinging feet.